How Facebook Might Not Hurt Your Productivity After All

For everyone who tweets,“tumbls,” pins, posts, “likes” or Skypes during business hours, a bit of good news: your social media accounts might not be damaging your work performance as much as your boss thinks. In fact, according to two pieces of new research, your social media involvement might actually be helping your productivity...

This quote above was inspired by the information in a blog post by Maggie McGrath. To read the post click on the link above

As I read this post it spurred some thoughts about how "small talk" is shifting. Most Right Brains, observed over our years of work and research are "not fond" of small talk. Their brains work too fast, they get bored and they live in a part of their brain more idea-focused than language-focused. An example, taken to the extreme of a characature, is the character, Sheldon Cooper, on the television series, The Big Bang Theory.

In real life, there are social needs at times, though, for engaging others in things of interest to them; of respecting that there are other folks who think differently and have different, sometimes slower, interactive needs. Some Right Brains have figured out small talk strategies. One example that still makes me laugh was the night my husband got bored at a party in which a group he was sitting with was one-upping each other about their recent trips, and fancy cars and golf excursions...so he interjected, "Well, I bought a new metal detector." It was sort of like that commercial where quiet instantly overtakes the room and all heads turn toward the bizarre intrusion into the boring rumble of predictable small talk occuring around the room.

Other Right Brains, more like the Sheldon Cooper character, aren't as creative when small talk is an important part of the immediate social discourse. They may appear self centered, always talking about themselves and their interests or aloof, seemingly unfriendly. If small talk is a part of their professional world, they struggle and sometimes feel their difficulty with it hinders their success. My husband's strategy has been two-fold, limiting his attendance at potentially small talk-centered events and bringing a wealth of humor and engaging storytelling to social interactions.

Returning to the blog post noted above, my thoughts turned to how the digital world of social media could be offering Right Brained, small talk-challenged folks new, more comfortable strategies for engaging others. You may be one of those folks who doesn’t feel inclined to offer much in the way of general chit chat; who isn’t too engaged by another person’s interests but know you need to be social and seem caring. You may know you should do more “networking” but hate the whole chit chat aspect of those events. Why not use social media to engage with an acquaintance or customer or even a family member with whom you should interact more. Send them something once in a while, out of the blue, along the lines of their interests. It may be a blog post, a news article, some humor? This is offering yourself “socially”, respecting their interests, without having to engage with them in a way that is uncomfortable for you. There is no agenda, they’ll feel your respect and acknowledgement of their interests and you don’t have to spend uncomfortable time in conversation about it. It’s not being rude, just realistic, the two of you may have two very different ways of needing to communicate and engage others.

We examine and discuss different neurological approaches in NeuroTherapy Training sessions. It's helpful for more healthy life coping if we understand more about our unique neurological approaches and learn more about our preferred communication styles. It can help us figure out how to engage others in new ways instead of continuing to bemoan that “I hate small talk”, “I’m never good at small talk”. "Get" why there are going to be certain social events, even certain people, you will prefer over others. And, when you find yourself “caught” in a situation, be polite but understand why you are uncomfortable, take charge and think of some strategies like having some engaging or humorous (humor is always appreciated) tales to tell. And don't forget about possibly doing more digital interacting, use digital "small talk" to stay connected with and honor the interests of folks who need or would like  to hear from you but with whom you really have trouble interacting in a social way.  

PS: In regards to "digital small talk", there is a bunch of gals I've known over many years or have met recently and enjoy but rarely get to interact with. I decided I wanted to stay connected, so I created what I call my "Salad Gals" emails. Every once in a while I will share with them an email with a special or unusual salad recipe plus a few thoughts about what I'm up to. It's a way of staying connected and offering a personal, positive and appeciated note amidst all the more impersonal emails they receive.